Saying No

What is it about saying no that's so difficult?  I've never been good at it at all.  Ultimately I want people to like me so by saying yes to things, I assume they'll do that.  Of course, that's the problem.  They will like you but they'll also continue to ask you to do things for them.  It's a vicious cycle - one that's I still haven't found my way out of just yet.

Last week, after complaining about being a witness in court incessantly for months.  I was given an out. The prosecutor said if we wanted to be out of the case we could, she didn't mind since she only technically needed 3 of us instead of the dozen or so that was there.  When asked, what did I say?  I said, if she really needed me I could be there.  What is wrong with me?!

Today, after that ridiculous experience, you'd think I'd have learned my lesson when another manager assumed I'd work overtime over the next few weeks, doing menial tasks so he could "burn hours that he was allotted." I came prepared to say no - with a calendar of days that I could not work overtime due to other engagements.  And what happened next?  I walked out with a promise to tell him when I would be able to make it work in my schedule.  Ugh!  Don't get me wrong, the thought of extra money for England is lovely, but it's also tiring as heck since I'm already working full days.

All of that being said, I know I need to change, and I'm really trying to do that.  Of course, the flip side of the coin is that by saying yes to most everything, I also happen upon fun experiences as well.  Like volunteering for the Film festival, writing for BroadwayWorld and seeing new shows I'd never think to see.  So all in all, it can be a very good thing.  But after the outcomes of the last week - not appropriate in every situation...